Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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