We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
the day after is always just damage control
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
