At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
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