I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
