oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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