Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
