doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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