I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
