i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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