Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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