Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
