I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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