you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
