I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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