Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
handjob tips. give me some.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
