Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
try to milk me bitch
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
