remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
