First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
