you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
