You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
