I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
