I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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