google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
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