Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
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I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
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She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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