i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
