Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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