I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
