we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
