screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize