U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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