i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
this is an emotional support booty call
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
