planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
