help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
