Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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