OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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