Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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