If i could tip my vagina, i would.
My cat gives me a boner
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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