just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
