When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
