All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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