I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
