I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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