I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
