I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
