hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
