he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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