If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize