I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
