just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
