That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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