I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
