He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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