i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
