I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
