it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
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She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
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PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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