You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
