is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
